The
World Rants About Rants!
We would like to thank all of our devoted users for the overwhelmingly
positive feedback we've received these past few months. After
launching in the fall of 2002,
we were buried with thousands of emails containing support and
good cheer. In fact, not only does the audience love our humble
humor site, but the press seems to enjoy it as well. (Which
is impressive since these mainstream media rags are in the business
of sucking-up to celebrities and their pushy PR agents. Talk
about biting the hand that feeds!) On another note, former MTV
VJ Adam Curry gave us a big thumbs up on his popular web
log and The New York Times
gave us a rave review. (Of course we've been told this praise
came from shamed reporter Jayson
Blair. So maybe like the idiots at The Times, we've been
bamboozled by a liar!)
In
addition to many awards and "site of the day" recognition,
CelebrityRants.com has become one of the Internet's fastest
growing new humor sites. According to Alexa,
the respected web traffic ranking authority, CelebrityRants.com
has grown at a rate of 130% in just six weeks.
But
alas, for every hundred positive emails we get, there's at least
one negative crank sent in by a nutcase. Clearly, the brand
of humor found at CelebrityRants.com isn't for everyone. Below
are actual reactions from visitors who were motivated to rant
about the rants. Some good, some bad. If you'd like to leave
a comment, please write
to us. If your message is crabby, you can be sure it will
be posted here for all to enjoy! So please, rant
your bleeping hearts out! ---The Editors
# # #
"I
think your Diana Ross rant is the funniest thing I've
ever seen! I damn near pissed myself!
Keep up the great work!"
---Randy Q.
# # #
"Just
thought I'd write and say your website is very funny
- and also let you know I've got a 2 minute mp3 recording of
Courtney Love ranting like a maniac on two journalist's answering
machine, threatening things like "I will haunt you two
f***king c*nts for the rest of your lives!" I got it off
Napster about 2 years ago. It's funny as well as scary. Just
thought I'd let you know, 'coz it definitely qualifies as a
celebrity rant!"
---Ana C.
# # #
"I
howled at the moon. This site is very funny! Well worth
the two dollar entrance fee."
---JoJo B.
# # #
"Hey
was sup? I think your website is fuckin hilarious.
People who write and bitch about your website are just dumbass
pussies! Your website is just for fun, and that's what it is,
FUN!!!! ( I bet even the fucking celebrities check out your
site just to see themselves on it! LOL)"
---Alisha S.
# # #
"I
love your site and will tell all my friends about it!"
---Kent S.
# # #
"You
people obviously have nothing better to do with your
lives all you can do is pick on Michael Jackson who
is harmless. Michael in no way has done anything to children
so you can shut up with your stupid story and to the crappy
animation..."
---Selina F.
# # #
"Leave
Michael Jackson Alone! I'm extremely appalled
by the disgusting display on your website!
---Amanda P.
# # #
I'm
very glad to hear that you've been finding success
with your site! I know I'm not alone in saying that as entertaining
as it is, it is also a valuable resource for opinion columnists
such as myself. All the best of luck in the future.
---Evan M.
# # #
"Greetings,
first: love your site! second: notice you have
a clip of nimoy "woofing" the old ike & tina standard
of proud mary. npr (canada) did a piece about terrible beatles
tunes last week. they played a cut from the "sgt pepper's
lonely hearts club band" tribute album - maxwell's silver
hammer, through the mouth of steve martin. its worth a look
- about the worst i've ever heard - not worthy of vinyl. hope
to see it on soon. there's also a piece by mike tyson that was
done by a television sports guy. mike tells him to f*** off.
don't recall where to find it, tho. ps: love the bobby
knight clip!"
---Jesse X.
# # #
"oh,
man! what a great site! It's abso-god damn
lootly book-freakin marked!
---Ron B.
# # #
"Ignorance
is not a virtue, so please stop writing and behaving as though
it were. Education is the answer, and when someone is so information-starved
as you are, it is like giving an Ethiopian Child a White Castle
Hamburger franchise. Judy Garland was NOT the things you purport
her to be. As far as being a "pill-popping nutcase,"
I am QUITE certain that anyone else in her shoes would have
done something similar. You people are crazy."
---Eric H.
# # #
"Judy's
husband Sid Luft was a bum. He stole thousands
of dollars from her. Judy did these recordings in private with
a Senshauer reel to reel tape recorder (model # S 848). And
they were never for public consumption or scrutiny, especially
from someone whose knowledge of Miss Garland is about as extensive
as the life-span of a Handi-Wipe."
---Eric H.
# # #
"Fresh
and minty! 3 thumbs up! Jeezus -- I am impressed with this site."
--- Mike R., Los Angeles
# # #
"I'm
not here about a celebrity ranting...this time it's gonna be
ME whose ranting at YOU. I saw an ad for your site, which was
boasting that you had a tape of Kurt Cobain getting angry on
the phone. First of all, everybody is entitled to get mad. Second
of all, everybody is entitled to get mad WITHOUT somebody spying
on them, and recording their every word and action. Being a
celebrity is another word for living a tough and stressful life.
If you think that every time they get a little stressed that
you need to make a big deal of it, trying to make them look
like an asshole, then YOU'RE the asshole. Fuck you,
and have a bad day."
---Anonymous
# # #
"Celebs,
politicians, rockers --- all the same bag of horse dukie. Piss
an' moan about being in the public ey , "oohh oohh, my
privacy is being VIOLATED" (no mind ass licks...you're
exactly where you wanted to be, you think we're as stupid as
you?). So, Celebrity Rants, where does a regular guy get a chance
to express editorial commentary on the hyperbole of this crowd?
I love your web site!"
---Robert R.
# # #
"...you
got to put down female celebrities for being "old"
(madonna, zsa zsa) or "fat" (roseanne)... then you
get to Kurt Cobain and you go out of your way to blame his bad
behavior on his wife "we've been told his domineering wife...yaddda
yah..." hey, you were told his wife put a hit on him, too,
right? Maybe you should add that, too. At first I thought your
tapes were amusing but then I realize you just run-of-the-mill
misogynists. It would be a kind of a cute site if it
weren't so hateful..."
---Erika M., Seattle
# # #
"...CelebrityRants.com
is the funniest fucking site I've seen in years. Everyone
in the office has been playing them and we can't stop
laughing....we especially love the haggard Madonna
animation. THIS SITE IS BRILLIANT! Very well done! WE
LOVE THIS WEB SITE!"
--- Susan "Butch" J., San Francisco
# # #
"Is
that the best you can do for Tommy Lasorda??? My personal favorite
is of Gene Simmons (KISS) being interviewed backstage at a Seattle
concert. He grabbed the tape recorder and yelled in a falseto,
'This is Stevie Nicks, and I think that Gene Simmons is such
a sexy guy I love to have have his tongue between my throbbing
piss flaps!' (The manager grabbed the tape deck and rewound
it so that 'piss flaps' was removed; the result was "between
my throbbing 'Pfff---'followed by 'You're not gonna put that
on the air, are ya?' Ah, the good old days of radio! Keep
up the great work. THIS SITE IS AWESOME!"
---Lee M.
# # #
"Before
listening to Britney Spears for the 18th time, I paused to forward
your site to everyone in my address book. Waaaaaaaaay
too funny!"
---Mary T., Los Angeles
# # #
"IT
IS VERY UNFORTUNATE THAT MR. WHITE IS SUFFERING FROM KIDNEY
FAILURE. SO I"M WILLING TO GIVE MR. WHITE ONE OF
MY KIDNEYS."
---J.S.
# # #
"I
am trying to put together a Power Point presentation to our
high school coaches on sports psychology and would like to include
Bobby Knight's rant as an example of negative coaching.
Is there any way that I can download or transfer his rant into
my presentation?
--- L. Donovan
# # #
"THIS
IS ABSOLUTELY TACKY, SICK AND TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR!
ELVIS SHOULD NOT BE PORTRAYED IN THIS UNGODLY WAY AND WHOEVER
IS RESPONSIBLE SHOULD HAVE THEIR TONGUE REMOVED. THIS
SITE SHOULD BE REMOVED AS IT IS A DISGRACE TO ELVIS
AND HIS TRULY WONDERFUL LEGACY. HOW DARE SOMETHING LIKE THIS
BE ON THIS SICK WEBSITE!"
---B. Humphries, A True Elvis Fan
# # #
"I
know it is stated on your site, that this is for entertainment
purposes only, but I was not entertained. Let
me set some facts for you, first of all, Elvis was not intoxicated
that night, if there was any sign of this, how could the man
put on a show like he did? Check out your facts, and correct
your errors, and then you may be entertaining someone, but to
let you know it won't be me, or any other Elvis fans that I
know of, as this will be my last visit to your site. Oh, I have
heard this 'Ranting' before, I also have it on tape, so you
see, your not the first, and you won't be the last to be making
this available. I would think you people would be able to find
other things of entertainment, rather than insulting
a man who has done nothing to harm anyone, and has helped more
than you will ever meet."
---Elisa
# # #
"Sorry
to sound rude...but those 'rants' you have on your site are
complete crap. As a fan of Elvis and Brittany, it's
an insult."
---Olivia B., A Fan Of Elvis
# # #
"BUST
A GUT FUNNY. Wow! This site is one of my favorites.
We've been playing the John Wayne and Casey Kasem rants in the
office all morning. The two FAT ELVIS recordings are PRICELESS!
Again, we love this site, very very funny material!!"
---Stephen G.
# # #
"Excellent
site!"
---Damien M.
# # #
"I'm
just writing to say that your 'rants' web site is god
damn funny. Very well done and the best collection
of bloopers and stuff I've seen anywhere on the web."
---Jenny L., Vermont
# # #
"Great
stuff. Its excellent. You guys heard the Yngwie Malmsteen
rant? I downloaded an MP3 someone recorded on a flight to Tokyo
that involves the 80's metal/rock guitarist Yngwie Malmsteen.
Apparently the stewerdess(s) heard Malmsteen (who was sitting
in very expensive first class) insulting gays and poured a glass
of water on him to express their distaste. Malmsteen throws
a fit and starts cursing out the stews and eventually tries
to explain what happened to the captain or something. In classic
80s style, Malmsteen starts spewing all kinds of concert lyric
b.s. like it was some kind of WWF bout. "feel the fury"
and all this stuff. I would kill to see some video for this
one."
---Cary G.
# # #
